PASSING ON

Grandma and I enjoying her garden

"It's one thing one is certainly born to do."

-Christopher Hitchens [on the matter of death]

GRANDMA PASSING ON

It was late November 2018 when I received a call from my mother at the office, "Grandma passed away." I remained silent as I listened to my mother grieve on the other side of the phone then told her that I was on my way.  I wasted no time packing up my things and walked out of the office on my way to help in any way I could.

My mom stood there waiting for me as I pulled onto their property.  She looked drained and frail.  My mind wondered at the thought that, after several years, Grandma ultimately lost her fight against Cancer and now I stood watching the pieces shatter before me and within me.  The loss of a close family member is never easy and is always a sobering reminder of our mortality.

Prior to her death I tried my best to make the six hour drives to go see her from time to time.  I'm glad I made those efforts.  The below photo is one of the last I took of my grandma and one of my favorites.

Grandma waking up from a nap

THE TWINS

My grandma's funeral went well and it was great seeing the family together in union (albeit the occasion).  Prior to the funeral, I stood talking to my father during the wake and peripherally recognized twins I hadn't seen in a few years.  I turned my head and locked eyes with Nathanial and Jeremiah who instantly flashed big grins and began waving joyfully so I motioned for them to join us.

From what I gathered from other family members, The Twins used to be orphans and bounced around a couple foster homes, ultimately landing under the guardianship of my Grandma's friend - Sylvia.  Now at age 12 and absent a father figure and/or a male role model, The Twins instantly gravitated toward my father and I in search, from what I assume, a male role-model.

As they both walked up to my dad and I with outreached arms for a hand shake then a big hug, I couldn't help but feel the need to be there for them as a big brother.  They instantly began their folly of questions, "Where have you been?", "What are you doing?", "What are you talking about?".  Both have  very curious minds and I can tell they are intellectually adept.  My dad took his normal course of discourse in Physics and the Sciences and had The Twins captivated.  After a few minutes of this, my dad took pause and made a short remark that I had graduated from a SEAL PT Bootcamp earlier during the year.  The Twins both perked up and wanted to know more.

"Do you know who the NAVY SEALS are?" I asked

"No." they replied in unison.

"Well, a man who used to be one started a workout program several years ago and I decided to give it a go.  Want to see the type of workouts we do?"

They replied "YES!" as they clenched their hands together and jumped up and down.

I then told them to follow me to a room next to the wake room which had an open area where I can demonstrate some of the workouts.  After showing them a few, I told them to drop down and give me 50 push-ups.  Without hesitation, The Twins were in the lean and rest and couldn't be happier about it.

"Would you like to meet me tomorrow morning at 05:30 for physical training?"  I asked.

"Yes. YES! We do!" They proclaimed.

"I'll pick you up at 05:15 tomorrow morning.  Make sure you go to bed early, wake up and make your bed, have a full water bottle, wear sneakers, and dress warm.  Ok?"

"OK!" they replied.

At the time I had doubts that they would get up that early but reserved room to be surprised.


PASSING ON SEAL PT

My alarm went off at 04:00 and I began my morning ritual.  Since I wasn't familiar with the area Sylvia and the boys were living in I left my aunts house at 04:45 to give myself a buffer.

On my way to pick up The Twins I looked at the temperature.

"38 degrees Fahrenheit." I said to myself.

It was going to be a cold workout session and I knew that if the boys didn't flake I had to keep them moving continuously so they wouldn't get too cold.

I slowly rolled down the dark street in my grey Tacoma and stopped in front of their humble palace.

"05:18, time to roll" I said to myself.

Feet on the ground, I closed my door and marched up to the door and knocked.

No answer.

I knocked once more but with more vigor.

The door creaked open and the twins stood there geared up and with little water bottles in hand.

"Damn that's cool." I thought to myself.

"Come on boys, time to roll." I told them.

They followed me to my truck and we were off to the park.

I had trouble finding a suitable park in the area they lived in but ultimately settled on one nearby that didn't have any lights but had a big parking lot.

I parked my truck at the entrance of the parking lot and pointed it inward so I could flood the lot with my high beams and use it as our grinder.  I reached up to the top of my windshield and turned on my GoPro then walked to the bed of my truck and unloaded my "get home" bag which weighs roughly 25 pounds.

Bag in hand, I placed it above them and asked them to hold it up as a Team and begin running the edge of the parking lot.

Setting up the bag

"PT starts now gents." I told them through a smirk.

"OK!" They screamed

The Twins lifting a 25 pound bag over their heads

Without hesitation they began running like warriors.

"I want two laps!" I snapped as they ran off into the dark.

Two laps later and warmed up, it was time to crank it up.  I instructed one to put the bag on and run one lap the switch it to the other Twin for another lap.  Total laps, 6.

They did a great job and were no longer cold.  I could see they were tired but still amped up. It was time for some good ol' calisthenics.

"Frog hops.  Let me demonstrate.  I want you to do these to the end of the parking lot and back."



I could tell that after the frog hops they were feeling the burn. So I put them on their back to try 50 flutter kicks (four counts).

As I stood in front of my truck looking down at the twins fluttering away to my count a police vehicle slowly rolled up next to my truck and rolled down the window.

I looked up still counting and acknowledged the officer with a thumbs up.

The officer looked at me and then looked down at the twins and immediately got a big grin on his face.  He rolled up his window and drove off.  Apparently he knows the benefits of PT early in the morning.

Feeling further motivated after my encounter with the Law, I showed the boys what the "fireman carry" was in the event they ever needed to carry one another out of a situation.

Once they understood the concept and tried it once on one another, it was time for more push-ups, sit-ups, running, and...8-counts.

After 8-counts The Twins were smoked turkeys but enjoying every bit of it.  I gave them high-fives and congratulated them on a job well done.  I reminded them how important it was for them to stick together as they get older.  To work as a Team.  To lean on each-other when times get tough.

Afterwards, Nathanial and Jeremiah penguin walked to the truck and jumped into the back of the cab.  I loaded the backpack into the bed and got in the driver seat.  Looking back into the cab I could see they were red faced and tired.  I offered them more water but they declined.  As I shifted the Tacoma into drive I heard both of them say, "Thank You".

When I heard that I choked up.

I knew their "thank you" had a deeper significance.  It wasn't just a, "thank you for kicking our ass during PT", it was in a very deep sense a, "thank you for being there for us" and/or "thank you for showing us how to be better men."

As we rolled up to their house I felt sad that I may not see them for another couple of years and wondered if they would be better or worse off when we meet again.  I hope that in some small way I had a meaningful impact on them.  An impact stamped to their hearts.  And I hope that impact helps them get passed whatever obstacles they come across in this unforgiving world.  

They are great kids and I'd hate to see their good spirits and talent wash away in the currents of unfortune and miss-placed luck.

Anthony-Out.